Day 10: A letter to the person you hate most or caused you a lot of pain
This’ll be fun..
fuck you. fuck you for everything.
I hate that took away so much from me, I can’t even fucking think clearly when you pop into my head. My biggest fear in life is to become just like you, if that was going to be the case I’d of took care of myself years ago. Everything about the past, involving you, is so fucking crippling, there literally is no other word for it. And you’ll never understand. That probably pisses me off more then anything, you’ll never the fuck know how I feel. I don’t mean I can never tell you, I mean you will literally never feel what the fuck I feel, and you’ll never feel remorse, or the least bit wrong for what you’ve done. That’s disgusting. I can only hope for the best for my little sister, lord knows I’ll never meet her, but I hope you didn’t fuck her up too.
I never wish bad upon anyone, except for you. I clinch my teeth and hope to everything in the world that you die, I hope that everyone around you, and everything that you love, dies, in your fucking arms. You are the biggest piece of shit I will ever know. I may not believe in hell, but if there is such a place, I pray to everything that is holy that you’ll be placed far fucking beyond that, hell is too good for you.
But on a lighter note..
I am glad that you’ve taught me everything NOT to be in life, and I know in my heart I’ll be a better man that you ever could, and I’ll respect my children and do what I can for them.
Ever since the day I noticed you in class I’ve had a crush on you, but i never really did anything about it for the longest time.. but you were so adorable with your braces, and later on your retainer glasses combo. Which is saying a FUCKING LOT, 999,999 out of 1,000,000 times I CAN’T fucking stand braces on people.
I guess you are one in a million :D
hmm..hmm.. what else, what else.. I used to get soo fucking excited to have class with you, in was the highlight of my day. I used to always want to bump into you in the back room and just lock the door and go at it hahaha, maybe we should add that room to the list :O
all over the crappy chicken scratch pictures the dickosaurus rex makes everyone draw haha
I wish I hadn’t treated you so badly back then.. I still don’t even really know why I did what I did. And it bothers the shit out of me whenever I sit down and really think about it. I think I was just scared of letting you get close, I was sort of a mess back then. When I think of the past there is a few things I can’t really figure out when it comes to us. Like santa, even though we weren’t dating it still bothered the hell out of me you didn’t believe in santa. (god if anyone reads this who isn’t in the know this is gonna sound retardid) And the whole thing about you being happy, that bothered me so much too, it always kinda felt like something was missing inside you back then, I can’t really explain it. Thinking about how you are now though, I’m pretty sure you’ve found what was missing, whatever it may have been, and that makes me happy. As far as the santa thing, like.. it felt so important to me back then. I always thought with me being around and riding your ass about santa you’d eventually find it, and be the happiest person ever and then I’d leave, and you’d go on with your life, but be happier. I never wanted to.. hmm.. I didn’t want to just date you for a few months and have you be happy during that time and then we’d just break up and you’d be back to where you were before. If that makes sense? I was afraid if we dated you’d be happy as fuck for a little, and then I’d fuck something up and ruin it and you’d be depressed again.
pretty much the best way I can explain that lol, after a few tries -_-
But I think that’s why I fucked up so much, I was just keeping you close enough to make sure you were happy, but far enough away to not get together. Over time that just got worse, I got to the point that I was so upset with myself for hurting you that I just wanted you to leave altogether, for your own sake.
But, I think everything works out the way it does for a reason, everything is a lesson or preparation for something coming next. I was so worried about ruining a relationship with you that I pushed you away, I thought I was just a terrible person when it came to relationships, which I’m sure I was back then.
After Chase though it kinda put everything in perspective, other people can fuck up shit too, It’s not just me, but also being put through a shitty relationship made me realize how it feels to be on the short end of the shitstick. It just helped overall I think
anddd I think I’m rambling now. But I think getting out my thoughts and feelings on this situation is good, I’ve never really told you about all this shit, and this is a letter to your crush, so I might as well tell you something new :)
As far as now though.. fuuucckk me, So happy :)
With EVERYTHING about us aside, all the inside jokes, looks, personality, everything, the absolute very best thing about you, underneath it all, is just the simply fact that you treat me right, and you let me treat you right too, you enjoy the little things.
I absolutely love the fact you let me cook you lunch and take it to you at school, most people would say oohh noo thats not neccessary blah blah blah and that shit sucks, that bothers the shit out of me
I’m so happy that we’re not only willing, but happy, to go out of our way for each other.
I tell matt all the time he needs to find a girl like you, I tell him that relationships take work and its true. But like I’ve told you before it doesn’t feel like work with you. It’s like what every parent tells their kids “when you get a job you gotta find something you love, and it won’t feel like work” thats kinda how it is :)
And and and, babe, if your so impatient, you shoulda stopped texting me so I could finish! all you did was distract me so writing this took more time. good job ;)
annnyyywhooo, you wanna read this so i’ll wrap it up.
DAY 1: Introduce yourself / List your likes and dislikes
Jessie Ellison Bibb
lame name. One day I’ll change it to Jesse Art Johanson :D
I like music, and zombies, and nerdy things! I’m more Uber nerd then I’ll probably ever admit to anyone but its whatevs. Cartoons are the shit, any kid things for that matter is the shit, its just all so exciting! :O
*pauses because adventuretime commercial came on*
YOU’RE CREEPING ME THE MATH OUT!
hahahahahahahaha! So stoked for that episode tonight :D
I love being dumb and off the wall, and feeling comfortable enough to say any stupid dumb shit comment I want to without being made to feel like a dumb creep ass. It all depends on who I’m with
I love people watching, and laughing at the dumb things people do haha, you fuckers are FASCINATING! :O
You. and you, and you in the back, buttttt not so much you, you’re a cutie and i love you :)
-I hate stupid questions.
-I hate stupid people
-I hate when situations build and build so much stress to the point that the only thing I can do is laugh
-I hate grammatical errors
-I hate when rooms that aren’t always occupied, like guest rooms, always have their door closed. Shit creeps me the fuck out.
50 DAY CHALLENGE: DAY 1: Introduce yourself / List your likes and dislikes DAY 2: Make a bulleted list of everything that happened in your day DAY 3: Your favorite movie DAY 4: A photo of you taken over ten years ago DAY 5: A letter to your Crush DAY 6: List of what you ate today DAY 7: A youtube video you find funny Day 8: A photo of you taken recently Day 9: List some of your favorite tumblrs Day 10: A letter to the person you hate most or caused you a lot of pain Day 11: Share your favorite recipe Day 12: We want to see your teeth today / Post a self-portrait Day 13: Whatever tickles your fancy Day 14: A song from your childhood Day 15: A letter to someone you wish you could meet Day 16: Provide pictures of 5 celebrity crushes Day 17: A photo that makes you sad Day 18: Set or share a goal Day 19: Whatever tickles your fancy Day 20: A letter to Someone that changed your life Day 21: Your favorite television program Day 22: A photo that makes you happy Day 23 Share one of your current favorite tunes Day 24 Time to face morph / http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk//Transformer/ Day 25: A letter to someone you judged by their first impression Day 26: Favorite books Day 27: A talent of yours Day 28: Favorite Places to shop Day 29 Provide the HEX code of your favorite color /http://www.febooti.com/products/iezoom/online-help/online-color-chart-picker.html Day 30: A letter to the friendliest person you knew for only one day Day 31: Whatever tickles your fancy Day 32: A photo you took Day 33: What you’re craving right now Day 34: Your favorite quote Day 35: A letter to an ex-friend. Day 36: Some hobbies of yours Day 37: A song that you like to dance to Day 38: A photo of your parent(s) Day 39: Zodiac sign and do you think it fits your personality Day 40: A letter to a deceased person you wish you could talk to Day 41: Whatever tickles your fancy Day 42: Bad habit(s) you have Day 43: A picture of your favorite place in the world Day 44: Something that fascinates you and why Day 45: A letter to yourself a year ago Day 46: Photos of personal things in your life (pets, family, house, ect) Day 47: Birthday wish list Day 48: A photo of you right now Day 49: Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days Day 50: A letter to your reflection in the mirror